Laying My Baggage Down

I think so much of how we deal with life's issues is in the timing. When I am overwhelmed, I don't deal with trauma as well as I do when all is right with the world. I got to see this first hand this week.
One of my major issues has been, how do I get everything I need to live, for a family of four, for nine months in eight suitcases? I had been nagging Bill (shocker, I know) to call the airlines and see if we could pay to take a ninth suitcase. He wouldn't. He didn't. So, after a week or two of very gracious reminding, I called. I found out that due to our four day lay-over in Madrid, we would no longer be on international flight rules for baggage. We could only take one bag apiece and to pay for the other four would be somewhere around $1000. So, not only can I not take the ninth bag, I can't even take the first eight!
I think I handled the information very well. I didn't throw up (even though I felt like it), I didn't yell, I quietly thanked the woman, hung up the phone and tried not to get hysterical. I knelt down and asked God to give me the faith I need to trust him in everything. Even in something like this which is both major and minor all at the same time. Bill and I spent the evening reviewing all our options and funny enough, by the next morning I knew it would be okay. (Now granted I did make a few comments about stupid airlines and not being willing to be poorly dressed even though I am poor, but we won't talk about that...)
God gave me peace that it would be okay and as I was driving around town the next morning, I came to the top of a hill and saw the mountains spread out before me and then I knew. I knew, because God is so amazing. I knew that I was focusing on the wrong things. The things of this world. God has promised to meet all my needs and I know he loves enough to take care of me. The cool part is that I was able to really say that I love him more than I love any of my stuff (and I really like my stuff). He is so much bigger and more important than all of my things that I think I need. A year ago, a month ago, even two weeks ago, I couldn't have said that and felt the truth of it in my heart.
Two weeks ago I wondered what does God's love look like in everyday things. I questioned, does God love me enough that I could trust him with every aspect of my life as I step into a world completely unknown to me. And the really fun part is that He answered that question for me before he let me find out this issue with the baggage. He kept Bill from calling because He knew I couldn't handle it before.
If God loves me enough to withhold information until I can deal with it, then he loves me enough to provide for my needs.
God's timing is perfect and I need to relax and trust to that timing. (And, apparently, I need to apologized to my husband...)

I have been thinking a lot about encouragement lately. God has been working in my life, in so many ways, as he is bringing me along on this journey, but one of my favorite tools that he is using in my life are my friends and family. So many of you have given me hope when I was discouraged. You have challenged my faith when I doubted and you have strengthened me with your words, your actions and your gifts of love. I thought about Hebrews 12:1 this morning. It says,
"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
You are part of the cloud of witnesses. Whether you realize it or not, you are doing God's work. You help me to throw off the fear and doubt that does so easily entangle me. You help me to continue on the journey that God has called me to. You are doing for me, what I am hoping to do for others as I continue on my journey. You are encouraging me to do the work that God has set before me. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for being willing to let God use you. I need you and I appreciate you. As Sam would say, "You rock like salt in a tube sock!" (Don't ask me what it means. I don't know, but its good.)

Adventures on the Edge

I guess I've joined the technological age and made a blog. I don't know that anyone will read this, but I thought I could post some of my random thoughts as we set out on our 'Grand Advenure on the Edge'. I called it "on the egde" because I feel that I am on the edge of faith and reason. God is pushing me farther than I ever thought I'd go, but with that comes the "grand adventure" part of it. This is a grand adventure with God and my family. I am living of the edge of faith and reason, but I am living. That's the amazing part, being alive in Christ. I feel like I have been half asleep for most of my life and God woken me up to what it means to live in Him.

I won't lie to you. Its scary. Its hard. I wouldn't trade it for the world! The band, Caedmon's Call has a song called 'This World' that has spoken to me alot. Part of it goes,

"This world has nothing for me, and this world had everything.

All that I could want and nothing that I need.

This world is making me drunk on the spirits of fear, so that when He says, "who will go?" I am nowhere near.

Now I'm waking up. And now I'm breaking up, but now I'm making up for lost time."

I think that sums it up pretty well. Thanks for listening.